sarah_sensei: Midna: LoZ Twilight Princess (Default)
sarah_sensei ([personal profile] sarah_sensei) wrote2013-02-06 06:39 pm

Awkward Things Some Kids Have Said to Me Since I Told Them I Was Expecting

Well, I told my students that I was expecting about 2 weeks ago. It was starting to get noticeable and I wanted to tell the kids before they started asking questions. (Also, some brat was making pig noises while I was doing a papier mache demo... I'm not sure whether or not they were directed at me, but I laid down the law and snarled, "Whoever is making the pig noises, I'm not getting fat I'm PREGNANT" and he didn't make the sound again). Anyhow, I needed to tell them before the kids came up with their own theories ^_^; Also, I wanted to warn my students that I will be on maternity leave this August, so I didn't want them to freak out when they had a sub for the first month.

Anyhow, here are 4 awkward things I have heard since I told them (perhaps no surprise, they all came from 1st graders):

1) Female Student: "I think the baby is ready to come out soon!"
Me: "Um no, I'm only about halfway there..." (Damn kid, I'm not THAT BIG yet!)

2) Male Student: "So, when are you getting married?"
Me: :: stern voice :: "[Male Student's Name] I have been married for FOUR YEARS."
Male Student: "Oh, so why do we call you Miss [My Maiden Name] then?"
Me: "Because you are saying it wrong. I'm Ms. [My Maiden Name] not Miss. I didn't take my husband's name." :: I turned to the class :: "That's right girls, you don't HAVE to take your husband's name! You can keep your name if you want to!"
Girls in Class: :: collectively exhale :: "REALLY?!" :D
Boys in Class: :: start shouting :: "NO FAIR!"

[I claim that one as a WIN for me XD Though my husband jokingly told me I should expect some angry bible belt parents to come yell at me for corrupting their daughters and teaching them disobedience to their husbands. So far, none have come to take issue with me though.]

3) Male Student: :: raises hand :: "My mom is having a baby!"
Me: "Oh, that's nice..."
Male Student: "Yeah but it's for another family. She said we can't afford another kid. So it's going to live with another family!"
Me: O_o;;; "Oh... um... ok?" [slowly backing away now]

I seriously did NOT KNOW what to say to that one. I mean, part of me wanted to tell the kid, "Ya know, I think your mom might not want you to tell everyone that..." But I didn't want to make a big deal out of it because then he'd wonder WHY I didn't think he should say anything. The other part of me was kinda dying to know the situation:

- Is she a surrogate mom? [and if so, is her husband by any chance deployed? Man, that would be a weird way to try to make some extra cash! Though not a very secret way when you have a 1st grader volunteering the information.]
- OR, [less interestingly] is she just one of those people who either refuses to use birth control on religious grounds, or her birth control failed and they really are THAT POOR?

Either way, it's just awkward and weird...


4) Female Student: :: glomps :: "I can hear your baby!"
Me: "Well, you hear better than I do then!" ;)

[Okay that last one was more cute than awkward]. ^_^;

I'm kinda wondering what will come out of their mouths next XD