![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
American Dream?
Nov. 4th, 2010 12:34 pmI'm thinking maybe it's time for me to just get real about the current situation here and just stop chasing idealistic dreams. Based on my husband's agonizing search for employment this past year, I'm almost 100% sure that if we both manage to get employed here in Columbus, GA, then I'm going to just give up and settle here. I don't love it here, but I don't hate it because my husband is here with me (if I were alone, I'd probably be just as lonely as I was in Korea/Guam though).
The shopping is ok. I'm close enough to Atlanta that just about any international or domestic destination is within reach. Housing is affordable and some neighborhoods are actually kinda pretty. I could almost see raising kids here (but I have a very strong feeling that I will insist on sending them to a Catholic school because I do not trust the GA public education system -- and after MY terrible experiences in one, I never thought I'd consider such a thing until all the US education cuts in the last 2 years or so). The Florida panhandle is only a 4 hour drive from here -- which was a small plus until this summer's oil disaster --; Now, I'm not so sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing. Maybe Savannah would be better.
I don't HATE my job (though it is getting harder and I almost dread what will happen when they finally send all those people from Ft. Knox here). I have 7 years in with the government now, which means I'm getting to a point where I probably should just shut up and be happy with what I have: half decent medical benefits, a more than decent salary for this area, and enough flexibility that I can put 10% of my pay into my Thrift Savings Plan and have been doing so for about 4-5 years now (before that I was putting in 3% because I was paying my student loans). We get yearly increases and they adjust the pay scales for inflation each year, which is more than you get from most employers.
I wish I lived closer to family. I hardly knew my grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins growing up. We saw them less than three times a year. I always wanted to be closer to my brothers and parents. I wanted to live near friends and actually have people over and not be like my parents who became increasingly isolated the older they got. But the economic downturn is beginning to create a new normal. The new normal appears to be: 1) Move to where the job is, not where you want to live. 2) Shut up and be happy with whatever crappy job or job situation you have. 3) Don't ask for what you think you are worth and try not to discuss salary if at all possible because salary negotiations are all but dead (this has killed my husband on pretty much every interview he's had -- and he actually has had a fair number in the last 6 months. One guy actually hung up on him. And he's not asking for a LOT here, he asked for about $30,000 for a job that he already has 3 years experience in, would be on call 24/7 for and would have to work pretty much every major holiday. They thought that was at least $5,000 too much. We've also recently discovered that the $35,000 they offered in Raleigh, NC for a supervisory position was considered a "good" offer).
A lot of my frustration here stems from the stress of my own job but also the burden of knowing that I made my husband give up his job so I could take this one and now he's having more trouble finding something than I ever anticipated. I worry about this every day. He loves the news business (I have no idea why. I think they are offering atrocious salaries for a job that requires you to be on call all the time, where you can never schedule vacations or holidays off because every time you ask it's a ratings month, and they almost expect you to work from home before you even come in if you do web work...) I really wish he'd learn a trade. Plumbers make twice what they have been offering him, and they set their own schedules >:p (and they don't have to speak English or write well). BUT he loves the news and seems to think he wants a job in that field even though his accent and writing skills pretty much will eliminate him from most positions. That is why if SOMEONE here offers him a job, this will probably be it. I'm going to just have to suck it up and start being happy with what I have rather than focus on what I want. I think this is the new normal for everyone. We're really all in that situation and I don't think the economy is going to really start "growing" again for another 5-10 years, if we are lucky. I don't care what the stupid economists say, nothing is happening. So, we may as well settle and get over the dreams we had as kids. My friends are not going to all be my neighbors. I'm not going to live near my brothers. If we have kids, they will see grandma and grandpa about once a year and we'll probably never go out without the kids because we won't have the luxury of dumping the kids with family -- which is why my parents never got to go out.
If he doesn't get a job, I may have one last shot at TRYING to transfer to someplace a little closer to home (but this also means I have to live with him being depressed at home for another 6 months or more). If I could just eliminate 7hrs. from the drive between here and Pittsburgh, that would make a big difference. (It's a 14hr. drive right now -- eliminating 7 hours would make it so I could see my parents about as often as I saw my grandparents growing up :p). But the chances of getting a transfer are pretty slim in my experience with the government system. It'd be a freakin' miracle. Hell if he doesn't get a job and I somehow get a transfer, it'd show that it was truly meant to be ;p But if he finds employment, I'm probably not putting in for one, because I don't want to live with the guilt of uprooting him from a job AGAIN.
What makes me a little mad is this should have been a good financial move for us (and it pretty much was), but the fact is, I know he secretly longs to go back to that shitty station in AL just so he had a job. 9_9 I guess the good news is my husband dislikes being a bum (he always says "bump"). The bad news is, I worry about him daily because of it :p
The shopping is ok. I'm close enough to Atlanta that just about any international or domestic destination is within reach. Housing is affordable and some neighborhoods are actually kinda pretty. I could almost see raising kids here (but I have a very strong feeling that I will insist on sending them to a Catholic school because I do not trust the GA public education system -- and after MY terrible experiences in one, I never thought I'd consider such a thing until all the US education cuts in the last 2 years or so). The Florida panhandle is only a 4 hour drive from here -- which was a small plus until this summer's oil disaster --; Now, I'm not so sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing. Maybe Savannah would be better.
I don't HATE my job (though it is getting harder and I almost dread what will happen when they finally send all those people from Ft. Knox here). I have 7 years in with the government now, which means I'm getting to a point where I probably should just shut up and be happy with what I have: half decent medical benefits, a more than decent salary for this area, and enough flexibility that I can put 10% of my pay into my Thrift Savings Plan and have been doing so for about 4-5 years now (before that I was putting in 3% because I was paying my student loans). We get yearly increases and they adjust the pay scales for inflation each year, which is more than you get from most employers.
I wish I lived closer to family. I hardly knew my grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins growing up. We saw them less than three times a year. I always wanted to be closer to my brothers and parents. I wanted to live near friends and actually have people over and not be like my parents who became increasingly isolated the older they got. But the economic downturn is beginning to create a new normal. The new normal appears to be: 1) Move to where the job is, not where you want to live. 2) Shut up and be happy with whatever crappy job or job situation you have. 3) Don't ask for what you think you are worth and try not to discuss salary if at all possible because salary negotiations are all but dead (this has killed my husband on pretty much every interview he's had -- and he actually has had a fair number in the last 6 months. One guy actually hung up on him. And he's not asking for a LOT here, he asked for about $30,000 for a job that he already has 3 years experience in, would be on call 24/7 for and would have to work pretty much every major holiday. They thought that was at least $5,000 too much. We've also recently discovered that the $35,000 they offered in Raleigh, NC for a supervisory position was considered a "good" offer).
A lot of my frustration here stems from the stress of my own job but also the burden of knowing that I made my husband give up his job so I could take this one and now he's having more trouble finding something than I ever anticipated. I worry about this every day. He loves the news business (I have no idea why. I think they are offering atrocious salaries for a job that requires you to be on call all the time, where you can never schedule vacations or holidays off because every time you ask it's a ratings month, and they almost expect you to work from home before you even come in if you do web work...) I really wish he'd learn a trade. Plumbers make twice what they have been offering him, and they set their own schedules >:p (and they don't have to speak English or write well). BUT he loves the news and seems to think he wants a job in that field even though his accent and writing skills pretty much will eliminate him from most positions. That is why if SOMEONE here offers him a job, this will probably be it. I'm going to just have to suck it up and start being happy with what I have rather than focus on what I want. I think this is the new normal for everyone. We're really all in that situation and I don't think the economy is going to really start "growing" again for another 5-10 years, if we are lucky. I don't care what the stupid economists say, nothing is happening. So, we may as well settle and get over the dreams we had as kids. My friends are not going to all be my neighbors. I'm not going to live near my brothers. If we have kids, they will see grandma and grandpa about once a year and we'll probably never go out without the kids because we won't have the luxury of dumping the kids with family -- which is why my parents never got to go out.
If he doesn't get a job, I may have one last shot at TRYING to transfer to someplace a little closer to home (but this also means I have to live with him being depressed at home for another 6 months or more). If I could just eliminate 7hrs. from the drive between here and Pittsburgh, that would make a big difference. (It's a 14hr. drive right now -- eliminating 7 hours would make it so I could see my parents about as often as I saw my grandparents growing up :p). But the chances of getting a transfer are pretty slim in my experience with the government system. It'd be a freakin' miracle. Hell if he doesn't get a job and I somehow get a transfer, it'd show that it was truly meant to be ;p But if he finds employment, I'm probably not putting in for one, because I don't want to live with the guilt of uprooting him from a job AGAIN.
What makes me a little mad is this should have been a good financial move for us (and it pretty much was), but the fact is, I know he secretly longs to go back to that shitty station in AL just so he had a job. 9_9 I guess the good news is my husband dislikes being a bum (he always says "bump"). The bad news is, I worry about him daily because of it :p
